Caribbean Human Beans



Is there such a thing as a ‘Caribbean Human Bean’, or ‘CariBean’ for short? No. But he could be created. In fact he has already been created to an extent. His skin-color is somewhat brown-beany, an inextricable mixture of all human races, containing within him the best and the worst of all of them. His belief system is still very confused (‘brujeado’ to be precise), a hotchpotch of Christian, Muslim, Jew, Voodoo and Hindu with a shot of Buddhism and Zen.

But he is noble. Lazy, but noble. Arrogant, but noble. Unruly, but noble. In fact he is all vices, and yet noble. And this contradiction does not bother him in the least. When Moses was in the desert he lamented that God had given him such an unruly crowd. Well, Moses was lucky. He had to lead Jews. Try leading a bunch of CariBeans out of captivity before complaining. The Jews spent 40 years in the desert. After release from captivity CariBeans have been in the desert for nearly 200 years now and still no Promised Land in sight. Moses had it easy!

CariBean liberty no more than a slogan

CariBean liberty is limited to the vote. We sell our votes to the highest bidder. Politicians don’t try to make us believe they will work for the common good. If you give me a job, preferably a government job with full pension-rights and indexed salary, then I’ll vote for you. Give me a television-set at least, or pay my water-bills. And then maybe I’ll vote for you. Or give me cash. But give me something. If you are not willing to give me something now, how am I supposed to believe you will help me once you’re voted in? We’re no fools!

We know politicians don’t care about the people after elections. They steal themselves rich We know that and respect it. Any politician who does not steal himself rich, is a fool. Now, we know that all this buying and selling of votes, favors and permits is short-sighted and corrupt, but it’s the way of the world. It’s how we do things. We have come to feel comfortable with it. Why would any policeman make a fuss, if I give him a few pesos? Don’t make things complicated. Give me that permit and I’ll give you a bribe. Business as usual

Life is like a beanstalk

Is there no way out? Yes there is. We start with our basic nobility. That’s the force that makes the beanstalk grow. That’s what drives us onward and upward in endless spirals, reaching up to the sky in the end where we will have to face and defeat our own Ugly Giant. We will reach it one day on the rhythm of Calypso and Merengue. We’ll get there. One day.

Our daily video is even sillier than this story. But hilarious. Enjoy!